Questions open a pathway in your brain. When you are asked a question, your brain
seeks to answer it. It’s like an itch
that needs to be scratched. When
something is left undone, your brain wants to close the loop.
Personal development guru Tony Robbins has a saying that the
quality of your life is determined by the quality of your questions.
However, asking better questions is certainly not a new
concept.
In the 1700s Voltaire said, “Judge a man by his questions,
rather than by his answers.” (Well
change that to gender neutral and say judge a person by his questions…”
In fact, over 2000 years ago, Socrates laid the foundation
for western systems of logic and philosophy with the Socratic method of
questioning.
Socrates said ultimate wisdom comes from knowing oneself.
He then says the more a person knows, the greater his or her
ability to reason and make choices that will bring true happiness.
I love that. It
focuses on choices. It emphasizes that
the person themselves has the knowledge and the power to make their own choices
to bring happiness. So many of us
believe that the circumstances of our life (how many patients are on our
schedules, where we work, what our spouses say, etc) determine our
happiness. Yet, that gives the locus of
control and power to someone else.
Happiness is an inside job. Per
Socrates the more we know ourselves, the more we can make choices that will
bring happiness.
However, what is so interesting is that Socrates didn’t
lecture about what he knew. In fact, he
claimed to be ignorant. He simply asked
questions.
He asked questions that led his students to think for
themselves, he led them to come to their own logical conclusions.
His questions were designed to enlighten. These kinds of questions can stimulate
critical thinking, curiosity, discovery, learning, and even challenge your own
beliefs.
Purposeful questions in the Socratic method can serve as a
logical step-wise guide to help students come to their own insights. The Socratic Inquisitor models joy in the
quest for knowledge. He or She is
curious, seeks self-improvement, and realizes that we never stop learning from
one another.
When done well this can allow people to a journey of discovery.
When done poorly, the person can feel humiliated. I’m guessing that having been in the culture
of medicine, you likely have seen this done poorly. This is what we refer to as “pimping”. This is asking a question for the intent of
humiliating the learner
Most of us in medicine are familiar with the Socratic
method, whether we realize it or not.
Some of us are more familiar with how it evolved and was warped into
“pimping,” which has evolved to maintain the hierarchy and cultivate humility.
For you, we’d like to focus on you formulating questions for
yourself in the true Socratic method to stimulate learning.
Yet often the questions we ask ourselves are more like
pimping. We ask ourselves things like,
“Why can’t I ever get my charts done?”
“Why am I always behind?”
“Why can’t I ever change?”
“Why can’t I ever lose weight?”
“Why is my partner such a pain?”
Our brains are designed to then answer these questions. The disempowering questions and resulting
answers are more along the lines of pimping.
Not helpful. Designed to
humiliate.
Think of what kind of questions you could repeatedly ask
yourself that might be more helpful.
That Socrates might ask you (or us) if he were alive today and trying to
create insights and learning through supporting someone on their journey of
growth.
Perhaps things like
“What do I want to do more of?”
“What can I delegate today?”
“What can I say no to?”
“What can I control in this situation?”
“How can I make this a little better?”
“Are there any easy wins here?”
“How can I enjoy this process?”
“What is good about this moment?”
“What do I love about myself?”
“What are my strengths?”
“How can I make my life a little more fun?”
“What am I excited
about?”
“What can I learn from this?”
“What did I learn today?”
“Who have I helped today?”
“What is a possible solution to this problem?”
“What else could this mean?”
“How could I take better care of myself?”
“How could I choose to show myself some kindness in this
situation?”
“Why has everything about my journey prepared me perfectly
for this moment so that now I can take the next steps I want to take in my
life?”
Practice asking yourself some useful questions.
That brain you have is pretty powerful and designed to
answer questions. You may just be
surprised what great answers you start to discover.
