You may be familiar with Carol Dweck and her book on Growth Mindset.
It is really helpful for parenting and even for us as adults. Rather than thinking that we have a fixed mindset or fixed capacity to excel in certain areas, it focuses us to put our attention on when we can and are growing.
Instead of telling my 6 year old that he is “a good reader”, I am telling him, “I love to see you trying so hard and sounding out such big words.”
I tell him all the time that I love to see that he is “solving problems”.
I do then actually say that we are problem solvers in this family. As I don’t mind if his mindset is fixed on us all being problem solvers.
I do this for myself most often when I feel overwhelmed. I remind myself, I am learning to be a problem solver. If I am a problem solver what would I do? How would a problem solver handle this? What do I need to solve this problem? Focusing on solutions.
(I’m not gonna lie, very often the thought that occurs to me is that a babysitter is the solution).
You can do nearly anything you set your mind to, so try and think next time you are stuck about how you could be a problem solver and what possible solutions are available to you.
Because remember, we are here to teach you how to find solutions for yourself. You can do this. You can do hard things.